The Purpose of Spontaneity...

Often in times which seem hard, we wait for a hug, for a shake hand, for a message, or sometimes even a missed call. Any one of these from our "that person" who we miss every moment they are not around. We know we are going to meet them sometime again, maybe even the next day! But it is true that we miss them, with all our heart. 

In such situations, riddled with social rules & regulations, we tend to kick our ego out of the door. We tend to forget all the formalities of society, only for our "that person". Simply put, at least for one single moment in our life we become --spontaneous... 

Just take a short look back at your life, at all the years you have lived by, and try to remember if you can count the times that you were full of spontaneity. I bet you can because there are very few. In a world that we have so well planned for ourselves, we have ruled out even the slightest chance for this quality of ours to pop up. Spontaneity.

When was the last time you went out to see a movie just because you felt like watching one? When was the last time you called someone, maybe your “that person” just because you wanted to? When was the last time you ate without thinking, went for a long drive, and listened to your favourite song in maximum volume, without thinking of the fact that it will disturb the neighbours?

When was the last time you didn’t search for a justification for whatever you were doing?

I always wonder, in our “well-planned” world, what is the purpose of all this spontaneity? Do we really need this…thing? I can’t possibly find an answer…

After one such long and well planned day, I come home and take a look at my mobile. There, I see a missed call. Without wondering whose it is, I redial that “unknown” number. It is 11:30 in the night, but I don’t care. A familiar voice answers, not with a formal ‘hello’ but with my pet name.

It is 2:30 now…

We have been talking for the last few hours, without caring about our telephone bills, without thinking that we have an early day ahead. My ‘that person’ has forgot to tell me that this is a new number! We have been talking on anything which comes to our minds, spontaneously. It doesn't matter that we are a thousand kilometres away from each other. All this time I didn't think that there is a time gap in our locations on the globe!

This is my ‘that person’. We meet hardly once or twice in a year. Always for a movie or at our favourite restaurant. Each time we see each other, we wonder why we haven’t met for so long, though we live in the same city. When one of us is travelling, like I was when that call happened, we know that we will meet again. Each time is like a new beginning for us. Each time we plan to meet the next week, and then meet after 6 months! People around us often think, what is that, that connects both of us? Our interests our opposite. Our personalities don’t have anything in common, except for of course….

Spontaneity.

I think I have my answer. I know why this ‘thing’ is important in my life. I found my ‘that person’ due to this quality. This personality trait. This omen!

We have planned to meet this weekend. We are meeting after almost a year now. But we have not even planned where we are going to meet! I guess we will decide this Saturday…spontaneously!

Bis bald, till then,

Atharva

Not without my BREATH...

When I started this blog, 2 years back, I never had any problem or questions in mind. I just turned on my computer and started writing! It was as simple as that. And now, two years down the line, I ask this question to myself and to any secret diarist or even a published author somewhere in the corner of the world: Why Write?

I have been asked this question a zillion times! And when I start to find the answer, I give up. But, only till now. Now, I have the answer. In fact, it was always right in front of me! I was maybe too lazy to open my eyes and look at it! Well, let me cut the chase and give out the answer. Here it is: I write, because I need to breathe. When I kept digging for the answer, this was what I could get.

Me, you, everyone of us is so damn busy in doing something we don't like, and then trying to forget it over the "so called two day break" we take every weekend. Yes! Those two days... when we stay glued to our phones and computers and anything, that keeps us in touch with our work & our responsibilities! Anyway, I am not here to give you a piece of "don't live someone else's life" shit. Believe me, I am not trying to do that.

I am here today, to write! And that is what I do!

I may be wrong, but the past few months have made me realize one very important thing. That it is WE who make the rules, and it is WE who decide to follow them or not and it is also WE who frown at someone not following them! But there is one thing that distresses me to the very core. We always crib about these rules which WE have created!

As I mentioned earlier, I write because I need to breathe. But if I follow these "rules" to express my love for writing, I would have to say, "I write because I like to! Because it's my passion, etc etc...
But NO, I have decided to take it to the next level. Today, I am confident to say, that I write, to breathe. If I don't write, or even scribble down something in a very long time, I do get upset, I tend to literally lose my breath.

In the past few months, I have met people who have followed their dream, and the others who have not! You know what? All of them seemed happy to me. But very few of them were who had a reason to breathe! They breathe to keep themselves alive, which we all do naturally. But I am talikng about the next level.

I think that everyone has to find this "BREATHING REASON", this exclusive thing. Believe me, maybe you don't know, but it is already there... Your reason to breathe might be - your quest for love, your special friendship, your silly hobby, your sport or even your family! Who knows? There are more than 7 billion people in this world, there can be 7 billion reasons to breathe!

Now, after telling you a little about my beautiful realization, let me also give you a disclaimer. Some of you might wonder, that what should one do with this reason to breathe? What part does it play in one's life? I also wondered that! And the most difficult question to me was that: What do I do when I find my reason to breathe? Do I leave everything and run to achieve it. Do I forsake everything to do the one thing which keeps me breathing? The answer is NO. Though this reason of yours will keep you breathing, it is not the only reason that will do so. Let us say that it tops the list of many other reasons that make us breathe.

Today, I make a promise to myself. A promise where I ensure that my reason to breathe will not be the reason to cast away anyone or anything dear to me. I promise to keep on writing and thus breathing, but I won't shed away everything just to run after my writing. I pray to everyone of you, to give me strength to keep my promise. I have made a promise, and I hope you do too.

After reading this, you might question yourself, "How do I find my reason to breathe?". Well, it is quite simple to find it. Just hold your breath for a moment, and think of something that you lack in that moment other than air...  to breathe!

Bis dann, till then,
Atharva

The (Wo)man boss!

The functioning of family functions is common as cake in each and every part of the world. First it starts with the "too-early guests" arriving on their "scheduled time". By the time everyone comes and settles in they are already gorging on the dessert, attracting every eye present. They bid good-bye just before the "others" are starting to ponder around the buffet. 

Then there are "the too-busy" ones who have a long list of overly cliched reasons to be late and settle in just when the hosts are almost ready to call it a night. And finally after "extended hours" of the party are more than over, these VIP late comers finally board their rides while apologizing about a hundred times! 

The hosts are relived of every duty they have...but wait. Who is going to the dishes? Obviously the lady we affectionately call "momma" or "mutter" or "mother" or just "mom"! While his lady-love can see at least an hour of work ahead of her, her better half is already yawning away to a well made bed. 

And quite amusing is that this better half is the same one who will always brag about 90% of the chefs being men! Maybe he doesn't know that these chefs also clean their kitchens. Anyways, I am not here to repeat this blame game the umpteenth time. 

I am here to ask a question. My question is not the typical "Why so?", but instead it is "What now?". It has been at least 1000 generations that we (hu)mans are living in this patriarchal world. Do we really never want to change the way these things work? Are we so lazy to shrug off this old system or we still like to cling onto the "old is gold" funda. 

Well, we have to agree that there is a lot of change happening in this sector. Today we find women in uniform, as entrepreneurs, and what not! But still when 10 most rich business heads stand in a queue to meet a visiting President, only 2 of them are women. It is great that today we stand proud of the fact that our military and police and sports consist of a considerable percentage of women, but we neglect this fact that we are under-utilising this more than valuable side of human resource. All of us, rich and poor, big and small alike have forgotten that women are made for multitasking! It is a quality which all women possess, might be right from their birth! 

Lets take a simple example. My passion is cooking! I love to cook a variety of dishes for my family and friends! It is my stress buster as well as my adrenaline! 

My mom is not that much into cooking. But sometimes she does cook, just for a change or as need of time! Now, here comes the interesting part. 

--When she cooks, she is checking a work mail on the phone, telling the domestic help something important, watching her favorite comedy show, and in breaks quickly glancing through the morning news. And at that time, when I drop by her to discuss some silly notice from my college, she attends to me with equal interest! 

--When I cook, my phone is in my room, the tv is off, the newspaper is on the rack and all the people present in the house are requested to stay away from the kitchen! And when my mom drops in to remind me of a call I had to make to my uncle for his birthday, I just say, "Mom, please later! I am trying to fry an egg in here!" 

Notice the difference? And this great quality of women has clearly gone unseen and unnoticed in all these years of HUMAN EVOLUTION! 

A quite interesting quote in a business daily went as, "Work hard for 8 hours and get promoted to be a manager and work for 12 hours!". While I am equally proud and happy to see women dedicated regiments in the armed forces and sports fields, I am really anguished to see only 2 women in that queue of the heads of the richest business houses in India! It is high time that women take the lead in the business world by being the boss!  Though it might seem a bit too stretched, but I also wish to see women heading these big companies, while their better halfs are busy collecting pieces of antiques and running a charity trust in the name of their wife - the (Wo)man boss! :P (If you know what I mean!) All economic difficulties will vanish much more rapidly if this wild dream of mine comes true! Well, that's what I think. 

When I get a job, I would crave for such a (Wo)man boss! Will you? 

Bis dann, till then,

Atharva